


I Found Peace In Your Violence

by Messi10_Neymar11



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Big Purple Onion will not be making an appearance, Black Panther (2018) Spoilers, Bucky Is Trying, Cap is low key jealous of Peter tbh, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Civil War Team Iron Man, Cousin Incest, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, Hurt/Comfort, I Am Ignoring The Big Purple Onion In the Sky, I do not like Big Purple Onion, Insomnia, M/M, Mediator Thor, Might be a fix it, Nightmares, Not Steve Rogers friendly (kind of), Not sorry tbh, Panic Attacks, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter ain’t having none of that, Peter really doesn’t like Steve, Post-Black Panther (2018), Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Spoiler Alert: He fails many many times, Steve is in denial, Steve tries to befriend Peter, Teen Peter Parker, Thor (Marvel) is Not Stupid, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, not sure yet - Freeform, not team Cap friendly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-03-08 12:27:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13458258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Messi10_Neymar11/pseuds/Messi10_Neymar11
Summary: “He’s my friend.”“So was I.”The Avengers try to salvage what’s been broken, and a cynical Tony tries to come to terms with the fact that Peter Parker is one of the very few things keeping him sane.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Marshmello ft. Khalid - Silence (Official Lyric Video)](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/353118) by Marshmallow ft. Khalid. 



> Yes I’m a Cressi fan.
> 
> Yes I’m a football geek.
> 
> And yes- I am a comic book nerd. (Almost no one knows this, lol) 
> 
> I usually only write football fics, but I just saw the trailer for inifinity war and I’ve been obsessing over Tom Holland these past couple days (someone help me). 
> 
> Plus the Spidey/Iron Man father/son feels are too strong.
> 
> I’m pretty late to this type of fanfic, but meh. Imma write it anyways because I rewatched civil war (still pisses me off a lot lmao) and I couldn’t stop myself from doing it.
> 
> ~ IMPORTANT CRAP ~
> 
> I’m writing this pretty half assed tbh, I don’t have a complete thought out way I’m going to write this yet is what I mean (I usually write with everything thought through first) 
> 
> If you came for Tony/Steve I hate to break it to you...
> 
> I don’t know where I’m going with these two. I might make them happy (most likely not tho) so just be aware of that.
> 
> I know people like the whole Bucky/Steve/Tony thing, and I kinda see it, but I can’t SEE myself writing it, ya know? 
> 
>  
> 
> This story is heavily focusing on Peter’s relationship with Tony. I want to develop it- want to play it out for everyone. How I kinda want things to go with Peter and Tony lol. That’s basically the entire story- building their relationship. 
> 
> I wanna say it’ll be mostly in Tony’s point of view but that isn’t guaranteed. Sorry.
> 
> ~
> 
> This is my first non football fic!
> 
> Yay!
> 
>  
> 
> Okay I’m done now
> 
> Sorry for this being so long, holy shit lmao
> 
> Bye 
> 
>  
> 
> Entire Work Inspiried By:
> 
> Silence - Marshmellow ft. Khalid
> 
> (This song is basically Tony throughout the entire story tbh)

You see, Tony could blame all the mess that happened between the break up of the avengers on the dispute of the Sokovia accords, but he knew better.

 

It was Ultron, and it will always be about Ultron. He could care less about Wanda Maximoff, who’s the real mess in the matrix, but no one else seems to agree with him on that.

 

He really did have the worst luck with happiness.

 

This always seemed to happen to him- he’d try to protect the people he loved only to lose every single one of them in the end. It was amusing, really- how he’d spend his efforts protecting them yet they did nothing to protect him.

 

Tony sometimes wondered if the universe just simply enjoyed screwing him over on multiple occurrences out of sheer amusement. Or maybe this was just his karma coming back to bite him in the ass for all the innocent lives lost because of his blindness and selfishness.

 

He couldn’t move due to his shut down armor, but It didn’t matter considering he just wanted to rot away there. It hurt to move- hurt to speak. He laid in absolute silence. His damaged arc reactor flickered dimly in the darkness and it’s then that Tony realizes that he’s been down there for a lot longer than he thought- a lot longer than he should be down there.

 

He was probably going to die.

 

He wondered for a moment if that was such a bad thing anymore.

 

The cold winter air nibbles his skin. It whispers through his ears, soft, almost mockingly. He stares blankly at the shield that laid against the rough and ice cold cement of the bunker. The long jagged scratches are like symbols- a mark of the betrayal and sadness he felt.

 

The armor didn’t feel as heavy as the bitterness in his heart. 

 

He shut his eyes, just wanting to melt into the ground and disappear. If only things could be that easy. His body was numb with pain and coldness, and he felt blurry, as if he’d pass out sometime soon. And then, over the cloudiness, a voice-

 

“Mr. Stark!?”

 

Tony’s eyes shot open then. Because- _what the hell was the kid doing here?_

 

”FRI.. FRIDA-Y?” He manages to choke out in a pained question, tone filled with anger as the masked teenager landed next to him from above, looking down at him.

 

“Sir. Mr. Parker is here. I contacted him after Ms. Potts was unable to respond quick enough. You have; two fractured ribs, internal bleeding, a broken ankle, and severe bruising along with a possible concussion that could ultimately lead to a coma if not treated quickly.” 

 

Stupid AI. 

 

“Holy shit, Mr. Stark-? What the hell happened!?” Peter exclaims, pulling his mask off to reveal large frightened doe brown eyes staring at him in worry. 

 

“Mr. Parker. Mr. Stark is in critical condition and requires medical attention immediately. Ms. Potts is currently five minutes away from your location via helicopter with medics. She will meet you outside. This requires you to get Mr. Stark out of the bunker as soon as possible.” FRIDAY says, impatience evident in her voice. 

 

“I-Oh! Right! Right!” Peter grabs Tony by the shoulders of his arm and pulls. Tony let’s out a pained groan. Peter stops immediately, panic obvious in his eyes.

 

”Oh god- is there someone else I should call!? I don’t want to hurt you! Someone else that can help us?” The kid rushes out, nervously chewing on his lip.

 

”No.” Tony croaks out. 

 

“You don’t want me to get anyone!? But Mr. Stark-“

 

”No- Peter.”

 

The kid stops then, looking down at his mentor with a certain wariness in his eyes. Tony doesn’t look at him, continuing to stare with blank, glossy eyes at that shield.

 

”Th-There’s no one _to_ call.”

 

>>> <<<

 

Tony spent the next four weeks in the hospital under heavy care.

 

Four weeks.

 

It was suppose to be three weeks, but Tony was so busy with the new accords and trying to clear the avenger’s names, that he got worse- having to stay for an extra week.

 

So when Ross came in on the second week of his hospital jail time with a huge grin on his face, he knew something was up. “The Avengers’ charge has been lifted.” 

 

Pepper, who had _not_ been pleased with the turns of events, sneered in anger from where she sat next to Tony’s bed, annoyance clear as crystal on her face as she flipped through the pages of a book with vigor.

 

“That’s good.” He says, voice quiet. Even though he’s relieved that the matter was fixed, he can’t help the heavy feeling in his heart that was almost akin to disgust. “And what about the new accords?”

 

”Here for that too! It’s been approved by the UN! Now all we need is the avengers to sign. I’ve already been in contact with them and they’re willing to negotiate the new accords.”

 

That eased Tony’s stress a bit. He glanced over at Pepper to see her glaring out the hospital window, jaw clenched and scowl present.

 

“We’ll be able to invite the avengers back once you’re back in shape, Tony. I’m sure a lot of them have equipment that needs some serious repairs from you.” Ross chuckles. Tony hates the sound of his _voice_. It’s just _so_ annoying.

 

 _Equipment that needs repairs_. He thought bitterly. Not like he didn’t have any broken bones that needed to be repaired that night in Siberia. Not like he didn’t have a broken heart- _shattered_ \- that needed repairs, right?

 

But then again, Tony Stark wasn’t suppose to have a heart.

 

So he blanked his face to a look of disinterest, smoothed his wince out to an expression of boredom. “Got it.”

 

Then Ross left.

 

He had barely even opened his mouth before Pepper cut him off.

 

”No.”

 

”And I didn’t even say anything yet! I’m hurt.” Tony pouts.

 

”Exactly- You’re hurt.” Pepper stares at him with a hard expression.

 

”My bones will heal.”

 

“That’s not the type of hurt I was talking about, Tony.”

 

Tony stared down at his fingers. “Listen-“

 

“No, you listen!” Pepper snapped shutting her book loudly before slamming it down on the little table next to her as she stood. “I am sick and tired of seeing people like _that_ ,” she spits the word out with disgust, “taking advantage of you! Every single damn time! And I’m even more angry at you for letting it happen!”

 

Tony rubs his eyes. “What do you want me to do? Like the Cap said- they’re family-“ he began sarcastically, only to be caught off once more.

 

”Those monsters are _not_ family.” She’s snarled. “Family doesn’t try to kill you Tony. Family doesn’t betray you the way they did. Family doesn’t pick on one person as a scapegoat for their hatred. And the minute Captain America is back, I know you’re going to forgive-“

 

”No.” Tony’s voice is firm, eyes harding as a flare of anger blazed through them. “I’m not going to- no way in _hell_.”

 

Pepper rolls her eyes. “And the scarlet witch? What about her? Or Natasha? Clint? Bucky?”

 

Tony flinched at the last name. “People don’t care about Tony Stark, Pepper. And right now, Iron Man is more important than Tony Stark. And with Iron Man comes the Avengers. We. Have. No. _Choice_.”

 

Pepper covers her face with her hands, letting out a shaky breath. “This isn’t _right_ , Tony.” Her voice murmurs. “They.. They can’t just come in and freeload off you and expect you to bust your ass for them. You can’t keep letting them tear you down with their words- letting them literally _stab you in the back_.“

 

Tony breaths out a sigh. “And they won’t. I won’t let them. Not anymore.” 

 

He he pulls out one of the files on the side table giving her a soft, yet tired smile. She frowns at him.

 

It’s then that they hear a loud clatter and snap their eyes towards the door.

 

Peter is standing next to a knocked over trash bin, a sheepish, yet horrified, look on his face for being caught.

 

Tony raises an eyebrow.

 

”Uh... H-Hey, Mr. Stark!” He stumbles over the trash can looking down at it apologetically. “I promise I’ll pick it up before I leave!” He states.

 

His eyes widened then, and with a panic filled voice, he tries to explain himself. “I wasn’t eavesdropping, I swear! I was only here for like, a minute. Maybe five. Okay- I was totally eavesdropping. But I didn’t hear anything! Alright that’s another lie- I totally heard it all. But if you don’t want me to hear it, then I definitely did _not_ hear anything.” He rambles.

 

Pepper sighs, grabbing her clipboard and turning to leave. Tony grabs her hand before she can and she looks back at him. With an expressionless face, he hands her the file. She glanced down at it before back at him, eyes wary.

 

After a moment of Tony giving her that look, she nods and takes it, leaving after saying her goodbyes to Peter. Once again, she isn’t pleased. 

 

“Thanks Honey! I love you!” Tony cooed after her.

 

The thunderously loud slam of the door is the reply he gets.

 

He chuckled. “FRIDAY?”

 

”Sir.” The AI replies instantly.

 

”Remind me to buy some Louboutin stilettos for Ms. Potts later.”

 

”Noted, sir.”

 

Tony then turns to Peter who’s replaced Pepper’s seat next to the bed. He’s fiddling with his fingers anxiously. 

 

“How’d you get in here, kid?” He asks and Peter blinked. “Ah- I climbed through an open window from the roof.” 

 

Tony isn’t surprised, only amused. “Alright, next question- _why_ are you here?”

 

Peter looks at him then, an unreadable look in his eyes. “I was worried about you.” 

 

Tony blinked. 

 

“I’m sorry Mr. Stark. I know I shouldn’t have come like this, but Happy wasn’t answering my calls and... and back in Siberia they just rushed you to the hospital and kicked me out. I didn’t know what happened to you or if you were okay and I’ve been meaning to come earlier but-“ He just keeps rambling and Tony stops him.

 

”It’s alright kid. Take a deep breath, you’re speaking too much too fast.” 

 

Peter follows his instructions sucking in a gulp of air before releasing it with a relaxed sigh. 

 

“How was school?” Tony asks and Peter seems surprised with the question. “Oh- good! Our decathlon team snatched another win a couple days ago which was pretty great. Oh and I aced my mid term in Physics...” Peter trailed off when he noticed Tony’s grim expression, the older man’s eyes focused on a folder labeled AVENGERS.

 

Peter swallowed. “I was surprised. I mean, an A on an AP Physics exam? Who would’ve known!” He continues to ramble, because it seems like the noise is the only thing keeping Tony somewhat relaxed- even if he wasn't listening, even if his mind was somewhere else.

 

Peter owed him that much at the very least, after all.

 

Tony listens to the kid, but the words enter one ear and exit the other. His gaze hardens.

 

No. The avengers may be back to fighting together for humanity, but Tony was done fighting humanity for _them_. 

 

And he’d go to hell and back in a heartbeat, but he would _never_ forgive Steve Rogers.

 

>>> <<<

 

 Tony threw the bottle at the wall angrily with his good arm, chest heaving and face red.

 

_The Avengers are yours, maybe more so than mine._

 

Those words played over in his head like a broken record, repeating and unmoving. It was branded in his mind.

 

 _Really_ Steve? Really? The avengers were his? That’s the biggest joke of them all if Steve Rogers genuinely believed that. What avengers? A vengeful King that was out for blood of his father’s supposed murderer, A side-switching and conflicted Natasha Romanoff, A patriotic Rhodey, who has been his friend since he was a teen, Vision (There really wasn’t anything bad that Tony can say about Vision solely based on the fact that he is vision), and a fourteen-year-old spidey kid.

 

Sorry- _fifteen_ -year-old.

 

None of them really did care, and Tony isn’t really surprised. 

 

“Tony?”

 

Tony looked up, gasping for breath as fresh tears ran down his face. Rhodey’s face was calm, but he could see the sheen worry behind those concerned brown eyes. “It’s going to be okay.”

 

”Panic attack detected.” FRIDAY’s voice cuts in. 

 

“No shit, Fri.” Tony gasps, wincing as he tried to breathe. 

 

He calms down after hearing Rhodey’s soft voice in his ear.

 

“Steve’s a little bitch,” Tony sniffles and Rhodes hugs him tighter. “Yes he is.”

 

Over Rhodey’s shoulder he sees Peter’s hands slowly drop the letter from his hands, expression of disbelief.

 

Damn it- the kid saw.

 

”Get him out of here.” Tony murmurs. “He doesn’t need to see me like this.”

 

”He’s the one that brought me here, Tones.” Rhodey’s voice is clipped. “And he does care about you.”

 

 _No one does._ Tony thought bitterly. _No one except for you and Pepper._

 

Peter slips out of the room.

 

>>> <<<

 

There was a special place in Tony’s heart for a very few, very selective amount of people in his life. The first had to be Rhodey, who stuck with him through thick and thin and would always help him open his eyes to the things he’d be blind about. Tony would definitely take a bullet for the man. The second had to be Pepper. The strong ailed woman who spoke with fire and always knew just how to keep Tony in check and save him from disaster. Sometimes Happy too, but the guy was such a stick in the mud at times and it was a lot more interesting to make fun of the bodyguard instead. Yet, with all these people, it seemed like they always ended up getting badly hurt because of something _he_ did. 

 

You see, Tony’s mistake was thinking that he could add Peter to that list without getting him hurt. It didn’t hit him until the ferryboat incident took place, when Peter had snapped at him.

 

“No thanks to me?” Peter stood, hand gripping his mask with a squeezing tight hold. He strides towards Tony, each step vigorous and filled with irritation. His brown eyes burned with a fiery anger, completely ablaze as he approached Tony.

 

“Those weapons were out there, and I tried to tell you about it, but you didn't listen. None of this would've happened if you had just _listened_ to me!” He exclaims in anger. Tony doesn’t reply.

 

Peter scoffs in bitterness. “If you even cared, you'd actually be here.”

 

Prickled with irritation, Tony let’s the suit dismantle around him and he stepped out in front of Peter. The kid’s eyes widen in surprise as he stumbled a few steps back, as if he truly believed Tony wasn’t here. Tony has to limp due to his still healing ankle since he didn’t have his crutches on him. Luckily the suit is able to support his bad leg so when the world needed him, he’d be able to still save it- but that didn’t mean it didn’t still hurt.

 

“I did listen, kid.” Tony began, voice calm but getting more heated with each word. “Who do you think called the FBI, huh?” He keeps stepping forward while Peter steps back hesitantly. “Do you know I was the only one who believed in you? Everyone else said I was crazy to recruit a 14-year-old kid.” He says, voice oozing with venom.

 

”I’m fifteen.” Peter cuts in, eyes challenging and Tony loses it. “No- this is where you _zip_ it! Alright!? The adult is talking!” He snarled. Peter purses his lips shut upon witnessing how truly angry Tony was. “What if somebody had died tonight? Different story, right? 'Cause that's on _you_.” Peter looked down, but he needs to hear it. “And if you died, I feel like that's on me.” Tony swallowed, trying not to wince at the thought. As if he didn’t already have enough blood on his hands. Peter getting hurt would ultimately break him for sure. “I don’t need that on my conscious.”

 

“Yes sir-“ Peter began. “ _Yes_ -“ He emphasizes. “I'm sorry.” He murmured, eyes filled with sorrow. “Sorry doesn’t cut it.” Tony whispers, trying to make Peter understand the risk he had put others and himself in. “I understand... I just- I just wanted to be like you.”

 

Be like him. Tony has to stop himself from sneering, because _no_. Peter shouldn’t try to be like him. He’s fucked up badly in the head, and Peter is too innocent to understand- too _young_. It’s then that he realizes, that maybe- maybe he’s made a mistake. 

 

“And I wanted you to be better.”

 

Peter is unable to reply, looking down with a grim expression at the sound of his mentor’s disappointed voice. Tony glanced at the boy in front of him a final time before he decides. 

 

“Okay- it's not working out. I'm gonna need the suit back.” Tony states with a hard voice. Peter stares at him. “For how long?”

 

Tony looks him right in the eyes so that the kid understands him clearly. “Forever.” 

 

It’s like an an arrow was shot right through his heart and Peters eyes widened. “No,” he whispers voice filled with disbelief and Tony clenches his jaw at the realization that this was going to be a lot harder than he originally believed. 

 

“No, no, no!” Peter’s voice shakes and his lips tremble. “Please, please!” The desperation in his voice is breaking Tony, the way his doe brown eyes started to fill with unshed tears, glazing over. “You don't understand! This is all I have! I'm nothing without this suit!” 

 

Tony’s nostrils flare and he stares Peter down with the most disappointed look yet. 

 

This was _not_ the kid from Queens who wanted to help the little guys- not anymore. And that realization saddened Tony more than anything. 

 

“If you’re nothing without this suit, then you shouldn’t have it.”

 

When Peter left, Tony had clenched the suit in his hands, pressing the fisted cloth against his forehead while his face screwed up in pain, eyes shut.

 

Because the broken look on Peter Parker’s face hurt more than that shield smashing into his. 

 

>>> <<<

 

 So the kid is an idiot.

 

That much Tony understands. Because the little shit goes after bird-man even after Tony tells him not to and gets hurt. But somehow he manages to win and save all of the equipment and Tony will be damned to hell before he lets the boy out without his suit now.

 

Peter would fight- with or without that suit.

 

And that wasn’t up to Tony. So he swallowed his guilt and gave him the suit. Because he’s more safe under Tony than he is in that ugly goggly eyed cotton suit.

 

When he wobbled out of the car towards the compound, he instantly could feel something was off. “FRIDAY?”

 

”Sir..” the AI began, voice hesitant. Tony felt ice cold all of a sudden. “They’re here, aren’t they?”

 

”Yes. And Peter is in the workshop.” 

 

Tony swallowed, clenching his jaw before wobbling his way into the elevator on his crutches, meeting a pissed off Pepper in it.

 

”What are they doing?” He asks as the loft clambered up the levels. Pepper scoffs. “Talking about just how much they _love_ you.”

 

”Wonderful!” Tony smiles sarcastically. “Barnes?”

 

”Quiet.”

 

”I don’t even want to look at him.” Tony grumbles out. 

 

The doors to the elevator open. 

 

The first person he sees is Natasha but he dutifully ignores her when she turns to him.

 

”FRIDAY, start the coffee machine please.” Tony states calmly, going towards the kitchen.

 

Everyone watches him hop over and grab his mug, setting the crutches down to the side.

 

”Really, Stark?” Sam snapped. “A month after seeing us and all you’re going to do is ignore us?”

 

Tony turns to him, eyes unimpressed. “What can I help you with?”

 

”How about help us to an apology? For locking us all up? For trying to contain Wanda? For attacking Steve and Bucky at the raft instead of helping like you said you would?” Sam hisses.

 

Tony doesn’t miss the way Steve stiffens, he just chooses to ignore it. “I’m sorry for locking all of you up and containing Wanda.”

 

Sam seems surprised that Tony had apologized so easily, but Tony honestly just didn’t give a fuck anymore. 

 

“Don’t forget about attacking and backstabbing Steve and Bucky.” Clint hissed.

 

Tony clenched his jaw, fingers curling up around his mug tightly and Steve looked umbareably uncomfortable. _Him backstabbing Steve? Really? Looks like someone didn’t tell the others about what really went down in that raft._ Honestly, Tony isn’t surprised anymore. 

 

“Clint, drop it-“

 

”It was his fault.”

 

”It was _both_ our faults.” Steve says hesitantly. 

 

“You two weren’t the ones who lied about helping and then attacked. It was all him.”

 

Tony smiled sarcastically, and bitterly. “I am _so_ sorry Rogers. I was one hundred percent at fault for what happened in the raft.” The oozing sarcasm in Tony’s voice didn’t go unnoticed.

 

”You think this is funny?” Clint snips. 

 

“No? It probably shouldn’t be? But I’m kinda past the part of caring quite frankly.” Tony mocks a pout at Clint.

 

”That’s it-“

 

Clint has Tony grabbed by the throat. “You’re the reason Laura is avoiding me.” He hissed, eyes wild.

 

”Clint!” Natasha’s eyes widened as she took a step towards the pair. 

 

Tony gasps for a breath. “Might want to look in the mirror, Barton. You’ll find the real reason there.” He chokes out.

 

”You piece of-“

 

Something suddenly latches onto his wrist yanking the hand off of Tony’s neck.

 

Everyone looks over to see Peter standing there eyes narrowed at Clint visciously. “Get your hands off of him.”

 

Clint blinked in confusion while Steve stares down at the kid next to him in surprise. His eyes follow the webbing and realization hits him like a fuel truck.

 

”Oh my god, Stark. You recruited a fourteen year old kid!?” He growls in disgust. 

 

“I’m fifteen Captain jerk off.” Peter snaps.

 

Steve takes a step back, offended. 

 

“Spider-Man is actually a Spider boy!? Are you seriously Stark?” Clint gaped at the mechanic.

 

”Peter, leave.” Tony snaps. Peter shook his head furiously. Clint uses his pocket knife to cut through the webbing, causing Peter to stumble back.

 

”You just _love_ ruining people’s lives don’t you, Stark?” Clint scoffs.

 

”I didn’t ruin your life, Barton- you did.”

 

Once again Clint has his hand wrapped around Tony’s throat, pushing him up against the counter roughly. “Shut the fuck up!”

 

Tony tried chuckling through the tight grip, face red.

 

”Tony!” Pepper calls out fearfully. Peter once again is about to stop him before Steve grabs him, holding the struggling boy against his chest. “Don’t- you’ll make Clint even more angry.”

 

”Someone has to do something- since _you_ won’t do anything.” Peter hisses.

 

Steve is stunned at the blatant hatred Peter has for him. 

 

“You just can’t accept the fact that this is your fault,” Tony grunts. “That you put Captain America over your family.”

 

”Stark _shut up_.” Clint tightens his grip and Tony blinks blearily. “I’m not the one who told you to join this Clint. I’m not the one who told you to leave behind your family and go against the law. I bet you didn’t even ask why, did you? You probably just jumped up the minute Cap asked for help, didn’t you? The truth is Clint, that I’m not why you’re here so you better damn well stop blaming it on me because you’re too much of a coward to blame yourself.”

 

”The world would’ve been better off with you dead in that wormhole Stark!” Clint growls, and Tony feels like he’s about to pass outback until he hears a crack of thunder.

 

And all of a sudden, Clint’s grip is off of his throat and Tony fell to the floor, pressed against the wall of the counter as he coughed for a breath, hand against his raw throat. Pepper is next to him on her knees, her eyes wide with worry. Peter is frozen in Cap’s arms, staring with amazement in front of Tony. Tony looks up, blinking.

 

The red cap lays flat against his back, Mjölnir tight in his grasp. He held Clint by the back of his shirt, blue eyes furious. What shocked Tony was how short his hair had become. 

 

“What,” Thor began, voice deep and angry. “Are you all doing?”

 

Banner waved from behind him. “Hey guys.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ”Great! Off we go-“
> 
>  
> 
> “Wait- stop!” Peter panicked, yanking his hand out of the other’s grip. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thor turns to him with a frown. 
> 
>  
> 
> “I can’t go with you.” Peter stated calmly and firmly and Thor is now confused. “Why not?”
> 
>  
> 
> ”Mr. Stark doesn’t trust the Avengers.”
> 
>  
> 
> “What nonsense. We are his friends-“
> 
>  
> 
> ”Those monsters are not his friends.” Peter snarls and Thor blinks in surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope people noticed the last minute tags change....
> 
> Yeah...
> 
>  
> 
> Ok I get that people are getting super salty about this whole T’Challa/N’Jadaka ship because they’re cousins, so let me break it down for the people in the back.
> 
>  
> 
> It’s called fan FICTION for a reason. Because that’s exactly what it is- fiction. For entertainment purposes. They aren’t cousins in the comics, but since I’m writing based on the Movies they are in this book so chill. If it’s not your cup of tea, then don’t sip it. Just sayin. 
> 
> This is definitely the most Taboo thing I’ve written. I really don’t want people coming for my life because of the incest so please spare me kind sir and just don’t read it. Or if you want to for the other pairings, just skip the T’Challa parts. That’s cool too. They really are only a side pairing tbh. They just look too good together that I had to alright.
> 
> But Erik is a pretty solid character in this. Plus I love him so he had to be here.
> 
>  
> 
> THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SPOILERS TO BLACK PANTHER!!!! The spoiler is right after the break where Thor goes to talk to Peter on the skyscraper, so skip the part after that to the next break if you want no spoilers to Black Panther. I know it’s still a VERY new movie, so I put a spoilers warning in the tags, and on this real quick notes. So don’t get pissed at me pls. I tried to warn people. (Also if you haven’t seen Black Panther, then you have to watch it because omg it was so good and definitely worth it). 
> 
> Anyways I’m done. In short;
> 
> WARNING- BLACK PANTHER SPOILERS, COUSIN INCEST (minimal) 
> 
> Enjoy! :)

“What the hell happened to your hair!?” 

 

Thor scowled at that. “It’s been a long couple of days for me, okay!?” 

 

Natasha stared at Bruce, but the latter avoided her gaze.

 

”Bruce? We thought you were dead!” Steve states, mesmerized.

 

Thor glances at him with smug eyes. “That’s what I said!” He whispers.

 

Clint struggles in his grip, like a little kid being held by the collar of his shirt like that, and Thor sets him down.

 

”Barton- why are you attempting to snatch the life of Stark?” Thor demands, glancing at all of them. “And why are you all standing watch? What is going on?”

 

A heavy silence fell over the group. 

 

“I ask you all, my friends, a question. What is going on here?”

 

Tony struggles to stand, coughing a bit and Thor blinked. He walked over grabbing the man by the arm and hauling him up gently. “What,” Tony began, voice raw. “What the hell happened to you hair?”

 

Thor rolls his eyes, looking around. He falters slightly when he notices the wary and guarded looks coming from everyone towards Tony. “What’s... wrong with all of you?”

 

”He’s a traitor!” Clint spits, eyes viscous. “He doesn’t deserve your help!”

 

”I dictate who receives my aid,” Thor snapped. “What do you speak of? What treachery?”

 

“I didn’t betray anything- you betrayed the law!” Tony snapped as well, done with Clint’s annoying voice.

 

”You're just a puppet for them to control, Stark! A remote controlled soldier!” 

 

“I am _not_ ,” Tony snarls, eyes burning, “a soldier.”

 

“Oh really? He said he was going down to the raft to help Steve and Bucky but he attacked them and destroyed Bucky’s arm- he’s a monster! He tried killing them because Ross told him to!” Clint hissed.

 

”Bullshit!” A young voice filled with fury ranged through the room. Thor frowned as he looked at a young kid being held against the chest of an uneasy Steve.

 

“Peter,” Tony warns, eyes challenged.

 

“Who is the young child?” Thor asks.

 

”Spider-man.” Sam answers, eyes focused widely on him in surprise.

 

Thor glanced at Peter once more. “He is a child.”

 

”I’m so confused.” Bruce rubbed his eyes tiredly. 

 

“You don’t know what happened down there!” Peter growls.

 

”Peter-“ Tony hisses.

 

”Your Captain isn’t as saintly as he makes himself out to be- just ask him what really happened down there! How Bucky may have lost his metal arm, but he left Tony down there to die!”

 

”PETER!”

 

Steve let’s go off him, stunned.

 

Tony’s expression is furious as he stares down at the boy.

 

Peter only looks back at him, hurt and angry. “He doesn't deserve even the littlest bit of your kindness to get out of this with his hands washed- I see the blood underneath his fingertips!” 

 

“Peter get the hell out of this compound right now,” Tony snarls. “Now- leave! Before I _make_ you!”

 

Peter’s mouth snaps shut, anguish burning in his eyes. He throws Steve one last dirty look before jumping out the window, pulling his mask on.

 

Sam turns to Steve with furrowed brows. “What was he talking about Steve?”

 

Steve is silent, staring at Tony with a horrified look. Tony swallows, brushing Thor’s hand off his arm before wobbling down to the lab with his crutches.

 

”FRIDAY,” He begins quietly.

 

”Sir.” The AI responds. 

 

“Self lock. No one has access into this room except for my authorization and Peter’s.”

 

”Voice confirmation required, sir.”

 

“Maria.”

 

”Proceeding.”

 

 >>> <<<

 

“Why are you all being so harsh on him?” Thor demands. 

 

“You weren’t here, Thor. You don’t know what happened!” Clint snapped.

 

”Then what exactly did happen, Barton? Explain to me.” 

 

“He attacked us, locked us up, and tried to kill Steve and his friend!”

 

”And his reasons for doing so?”

 

Clint faltered then, frowning. He glanced at Steve who looked away.

 

”Because.. Because we didn’t sign the Accords.”

 

”We are receiving a biased recognition!” Bruce declares. “I agree!” Thor hums. “Stark is many things- stupid yes, but killing of friends stupid? I do not think so.” The Asgardian frowns. “Something is going on here that we do not know of.” He stares at Steve who’s looking down at his hands.

 

A sudden realization passes through his eyes. “What did you do?”

 

His question is directed towards Steve and it takes everyone a moment to realize that he is in fact directing his question towards the Cap.

 

Steve swallows. “I didn’t do anything.”

 

Thor hums. “There is a reason you could not lift my hammer, Captain.” He murmurs so only they could hear. Steve tensed at that. “You are not worthy... and I believe you know why. So do tell me, because I have other methods of receiving my information.” 

 

Steve stood up suddenly. “I didn’t do anything!” He hisses. “Tony attacked us- I defended my friend.”

 

Thor tried not to be disappointed. “I though Tony was your friend as well.”

 

”Bucky’s different.” Steve groans. “Tony and I don’t get along.”

 

”What happened in that Raft?” Thor presses. 

 

“I don’t know.” Steve says abruptly, walking away with hurried steps. Thor rolls his eyes. He has yet to met this “Bucky” fellow. And to know who this Peter boy was as well.

 

He stood up with a sigh, entering the elevator with his arms crossed. “Computer- take me to Stark’s lair!”

 

”Access denied.”

 

Thor scowled. “What?” 

 

“Self lock mode activated. Authorization is not given to Thor Odinson.”

 

”Who is authorized?” He demands. “Tony Stark and Peter Parker.”

 

Thor grumbled as he walked out of the elevator. “Stupid technology.”

 

>>> <<<

 

“Little kid,” Peter scoffs, swinging onto the edge of the tall building and pulling his mask off. His eyes wavered through the sparkling city lights that glimmered in the pitch black sky.

 

He ached deeply for Mr. Stark. Captain America was a grade A ass and Peter is disgusted that he even looked up to him. He read the letter- he was there when Mr. Stark was practically heaving out his last breaths in that winter air. And then they come back after all the hard work the billionaire had put in for them to be cleared, only for them to beat him down? Again?

 

Peter just wanted to know why Tony even _bothered_ anymore. He was the punching bag for Captain America and the rest of the avengers only sat back, cheering him on.

 

It was fucked, really.

 

”Boy of Spiders!”

 

_What the hell?_

 

Peter turned around quickly, surprised to see Thor standing there with his hammer in his grip abs he crossed his arms. There was a raised eyebrow.

 

Peter stood up in a stumble. “T-Thor!”

 

”Aye. I have come to talk to the son of Stark.”

 

Peter flushed a shade of red, eyes widening. “O-Oh I-I’m not Mr.Stark’s S-Son-“ He began stammering. 

 

Thor furrowed his brows. “He yells at you the way my father used to do with myself.” 

 

Peter frowned. “Is that a good thing..?”

 

Thor shakes his head. “Never mind that. You must come back to the compound.”

 

Peter dulled. “I can’t. Mr. Stark told me to go home.”

 

Thor beamed. “Well now I am telling you to come with me.”

 

”I don’t know-“ Peter began hesitantly and Thor grabs his hand, pulling him over to the other side of the edge of the building, towards the direction of the Avengers tower instead of his apartment.

 

”Great! Off we go-“

 

“Wait- stop!” Peter panicked, yanking his hand out of the other’s grip. 

 

Thor turns to him with a frown. 

 

“I can’t go with you.” Peter stated calmly and firmly and Thor is now confused. “Why not?”

 

”Mr. Stark doesn’t trust the Avengers.”

 

“What nonsense. We are his friends-“

 

”Those monsters are _not_ his friends.” Peter snarls and Thor blinks in surprise.

 

Peter’s eyes widen at the realization that he just snapped at a god and sighs, turning away from the other and sitting at the edge like before with his legs dangling, frowning down at the city they protect.

 

“Mr. Stark doesnt trust the Avengers- not anymore,” he began. “And he doesn’t want me with them at all. That’s why he got angry. You’re an avenger Thor- and I trust Mr. Stark. I can’t go with you.” 

 

Thor stands silent for a moment, processing everything that had occurred today. He breaths out heavily and sets his hammer down, walking over and sitting down next to Peter quietly with his legs dangling as well as he folds his hands in his lap, looking out to the tall bright buildings. 

 

They're both comfortable in the silence, letting it wash over them with only the wind whispering in their ears. It was much needed.

 

Thor turns to Peter, his eyes impeccably soft and caring. “Do you know what has happened to my friends?”

 

Peter looked at him warily, nodding.

 

Thor’s eyes are like ones akin to a puppy’s, Peter realizes. There’s innocence in them. As well as genuine worry for his teammates.

 

”Will you tell me?”

 

Peter swallows.

 

>>> <<<

 

“Bury me in the ocean with my ancestors who jumped from the ships, because they knew death was better than bondage.“

 

T’Challa really should have listened to the man. Should have pushed him over the cliff into the water below like he desired. It would’ve ended- all of it. And yet...

 

He _couldn’t_.

 

He stared blankly for a minute at the passed out body next to him and decided- this was not the doings of a cold blooded murderer, yet rather, of a hurting and bitter man.

 

Next thing he knew he was dragging the heavy body into the lab. “Shuri! Shuri, quickly!”

 

His sister pops up from the corner and freezes, staring at the body in her brother’s arms before looking up at the man himself with an annoyed look. “You had one job! Really- only one! Just kill the man, my god. I am not even shocked anymore- just dumbfounded by how low your stupidity has reached.” She grumbled.

 

”Just help him!” T’Challa snapped. 

 

Throwing him the middle finger, she begins to set up her machines as T’Challa sets Erik down on the little bed table. 

 

He sits back silently as she works, watching very carefully as she cleans the wound in his heart. 

 

After a a couple of hours she sits down next to him, slumped and tired. “Ugh.”

 

”How is he?” He asks impatiently.

 

”Jeez- give me a moment to breathe, will you?” She snapped, throwing him a dirty look. “He is fine. But lucky. The heart shaped herb is the only thing that stopped him from dying.” She responds thickly. “If he tries to kill you again when he wakes up, I’ll personally slit his throat myself.” 

 

“Thank you sister.” T’Challa sighs. She stares at him for a moment, eyes wary. “You will regret this T’Challa. He is an angry, evil person filled with bitterness.”

 

T’Challa stares at the peacefully sleeping face laying in front of him as he rubs his forehead. “I know.”

 

Shuri yawns. “You should go to bed. I will watch over him.” He tells her.

 

”And leave you alone with him? No way- he'll kill you first chance he gets.”

 

He chuckled at that. “He is weak. And I can beat him if I need to.”

 

”If you say so.” She shrugs, standing and stretching. “Goodnight.”

 

”Goodnight.” 

 

As the door closed, T’Challa walked over to the large windows and looked out at his country- his beautiful Wakanda. This victory has proven so much of his country. They want to help the others- and they will. And if any other country wants to try their bet with Wakanda, then they will defend themselves and prove to the world that they are more than just a third world country. 

 

His father and fathers before had sat back in the shadows as their brothers and sisters suffered. 

 

T’Challa will no longer allow that to happen. He is a different man, changed. It is his duty as the king to protect Wakanda, but also his duty as the Black Panther to protect the world.

 

He really needs to meet up with Stark soon. They hadn’t talked in a while. Yet T’Challa just figured that the other man already had enough on his plate to deal with as it is with the Avengers back at their tower.

 

He’s witnessed what was not a pinch of Stark’s pain, and it outweighed all of his that he’s dealt with.

 

It really makes T’Challa wonder how Stark was able to keep his sanity and strength over all this pain he’s dealt with his entire life. It was sad, really- if T’Challa had a word to describe Tony Stark, it would just be misery.

 

”You just couldn’t let me die, could you kitty?” 

 

T’Challa is ripped out of his thoughts by the deep, angry, and pained voice. 

 

His eyes unfocused on the city, but rather on the reflection of Erik in the glass of the window. He’s shirtless- all the scars present that sends chills down his back every time he sees them. T’Challa doesn’t turn, continuing to look at the absolutely furious eyes of his cousin.

 

”N'Jadaka..”

 

T’Challa is whipped to turn back quickly, slammed against the wall with a hand wrapped around his throat. He wasn’t choking him, only holding him there firmly. Erik’s eyes are dark and stormy with a whirlwind of emotions.

 

”You ain’t got the right to call me that Cuz.” his voice is deadly serious. “Your Pops made that clear the minute he decided to shove his claws into my papa’s chest.”

 

He leans in threateningly. “If you were smart like your daddy, you would’ve killed me the minute you got the chance,”

 

”I am not my father.” T’Challa says calmly with slight boredom, face blank of emotions.

 

”That’s pretty obvious.” Erik scoffs shoving him away before weakly limping back over to the table bed and leaning over it for support, his back facing the other.

 

T’Challa watches his cousin with narrowed and cautious eyes, calculated. 

 

“I am not going to kill you, Erik.”

 

Erik chuckles. “ _Obviously_. The problem is- you _should have_.”

 

He turns over his shoulder to look at the other, eyes filled with a fiery gleam. “Because God- I hate you even more now, damn it.”

 

T’Challa sighs, walking over and grabbing the man’s hands and pushing his wrists against edges as restraints wrapped around them to keep him in place. Shockingly enough, the other Wakandan prince doesn’t fight with him. If it’s because he’s too weak, or just tired of fighting- T’Challa doesn’t know.

 

”You’re going to regret this, Kitty! You’ll regret keeping me alive!” Erik calls out to him as T’Challa walks out fo the room and a few Dora Milaje take his place to guard him. 

 

“Believe me- I know.” T’Challa mutters to himself with a groan as the doors close.

 

>>> <<<

 

Thor marches into the elevator with fury now, and the rest of the avengers should be paying over the fact that they aren’t in his sight right now.

 

”Computer- Stark’s lair! Now!”

 

”Access denied.”

 

”Computer- either you take me to Stark, or I shall find a way to get to the man of iron myself!”

 

”Would you like me to ask for entry from Mr. Stark?”

 

”Yes- and tell him that shall he not offer entry, Thor will destroy the machine of drinks he loves so dearly.”

 

Not even a minute passes before the elevator starts moving up. 

 

“Access granted.”

 

Thor grins victoriously as the doors open to the lab. He walks in and is met with Tony tinkering away at some car battery with frustration. When he notices Thor, he stops immediately. 

 

“What the hell FRIDAY!?” He snaps at the AI. “Self-Lock protocol! What does that mean to you!?”

 

”You programmed access whenever an emergency has occurred.” She replies with a slight attitude. Tony is confused. “And what kind of emergency is going on here exaclty??”

 

”Thor threatened to destroy the coffee machine and you’ve put coffee machine down as an emergency.” She replied easily. 

 

“What the- THAT WAS A JOKE!” 

 

“Would you like me to remove it from the list?”

 

Tony pondered for a moment. “Nah.”

 

”As you wish, boss.” She responds with fake sweetness. “Watch the sarcasm FRI.” Tony warns, dropping his tools and turning to Thor. “Listen Thor. Thanks for what happened back there, but I really don’t wanna talk to any-“

 

“I know.” Thor breaths out. Tony freezes. “What?”

 

”Your son told me everything.”

 

”... I’m sorry- _what_? My _son_?” Tony is bewildered. “What are you talking about?”

 

”Your son- boy of spiders. Peter?”

 

Tony takes a moment to process what Thor is claiming from him, and when he does, his eyes widen in realization and then his cheeks pinken in embarrassment. “No... P-Peter isn’t my son Thor. I’m m-mentoring him.”

 

Funny; The two of them seemed to have the same reaction.

 

”Could’ve fooled me,” The prince of Asgard mutters. “Anyways- he has told me what Captain Rogers has done to you along with his friend, this _Bucky_ fellow. I offer my sincerest apologizes for such horrendously awful acts towards you. The Captain is wrong in this situation.”

 

Tony sat quiet and still for a moment. “What exactly did Peter tell you about Thor?”

 

”He told me about the letter and the video-“

 

”Did he tell you that Barnes was the winter soldier?” 

 

Thor frowned. “No? Well, that means..”

 

His eyes widened. “He did not know, Stark.”

 

Tony ignores him turning away.

 

”He was being controlled and you attacked him for what someone else forced him to do?”

 

“He killed my mom.”

 

”He did not  _know_.”

 

”Give me a break!” Tony yells, throwing his tools down. Thor stares at him. “I spend my _entire life_ ,” his voice is shaky. “My entire life believing my parents died in some stupid car accident. Then to suddenly find out that it _wasn’t_? It was a _murder_? And the killer was standing right in front of me? How the hell was I _suppose_ to react?”

 

“You cannot blame the gun for what the shooter does, Tony.” Thor murmurs. “No matter how much it eases the pain.”

 

”I look at that face... and all I see is a _murderer_. And that’s all Barnes is to me. As long as he stays away from me, I don’t care what the hell he does. But what you’re asking of me is too much.” Tony hissed eyes burning with hatred. 

 

“Bucky is innocent, Tony.” Thor gives the other man one last look before turning to the elevator, walking away. “Steve has tainted his goodness in your eyes- and for _that_ , I am truly sorry for.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you guys noticed that I love Thor and he’s my favorite? :) 
> 
> He’s my bby <3


	3. Chapter 3

Tony shoved his gloves off, throwing them on the table with frustration.

 

He stares down at the circuit he’s been messing with for the past couple days. He didn’t even know what it was for- but it kept him busy enough that his mind didn’t drift to the others in the floors beneath and above him. 

 

Okay- what the fuck was he doing? This was his damn house. Hiding was easy. It was less painful and it was simple. 

 

But it was also unfair. 

 

Plus he needed a shower badly. The oil all over his body was starting to get grimy and Tony wanted to scratch his own skin off because of the feeling. So, two full days after nonstop work in the lab, he swallowed his pride and walked into the elevator that took him up to the common floor of the compound.

 

He’d somehow managed to avoid meeting Barnes at all, which was a shock in it of itself. Tony had the feeling that the super soldier was most likely avoiding him just as much as Tony also was. He wasn’t sure if he should be wary by that or relieved. No- he was definitely relieved. He didn’t want to talk to that man at all. That _weapon_.

 

Tony thinks back to Thor. Why Goldie Locks suddenly wanted to be his cheerleader, Tony would never know. To say he was shocked was only a simple understanding. It was obvious throughout the few years of knowing the Asgardian that he preferred Steve over Tony.

 

Everyone did.

 

 _Even dad_. Tony thinks with bitterness.

 

Tony didn’t understand Thor. Because Thor wasn’t suppose to be on Tony’s side. That’s just not how it worked. The only ones who were ever truly on his side were Pepper and Rhodey. And Happy too, sometimes. And Peter.

 

 _Peter_.

 

Tony felt a pang in his chest and sighed while the elevator dinged, doors opening. He hesitated. Nervously, he stuck his head out. He looked back and forth anxiously to see who was here.

 

No Clint.

 

No Barnes.

 

No Steve.

 

He released a shaky breath of relief. He’s fine then.

 

Wobbling out on his crutch, he goes to the kitchen. There, he sees Vision cutting up some tomatoes. “Hey Viz.” 

 

Vision spares him a glance. “Good morning, Mr. Stark. I see that the Captain has returned?”

 

“Yeah,” Tony mutters, grabbing his _fuck off_ mug and placing it in the coffee machine. “Wanda too.”

 

Vision tensed slightly. “I see.”

 

Tony peeked at him from the corner of his eye. “You know, if you don’t want to talk with her then I can arrange something, right?”

 

”It is kind of you,” the other began, voice terse. “But I’m quite fine, thank you.”

 

Tony shrugs. “Whatcha making?”

 

”An egg with vegetables. This book calls it an Omlote.”

 

”Omelette.” Tony corrects with a smile, a small giggle escaping him.

 

”Strange word, is it not?” Vision frowns.

 

”Well, it is French.” Tony chuckles, taking a sip from his coffee

 

“Nice to see you out of the lab.” A familiar voice says from behind him, quiet.

 

Tony froze, smile vanishing. He turned to catch a glimpse of the wispy strands of bright red hair and looks away from Natasha. Next to her stands Sam.

 

”I’m gonna go take a shower.” Tony says abruptly, setting his barely touched cup of coffee on the counter.

 

Natasha grabs his arm and Tony flinches. “Get off.” He says flatly. Surprised, she lets go.

 

”I shall make you an omelette, Tony.” Vision tries to ease the tension.

 

”Not hungry.”

 

He leaves to the elevator before he can hear a response. 

 

Natasha stares blankly at the closing elevator doors.

 

”Give him time Agent Romanoff,” Vision eyes her carefully. “It takes a while to heal when you’re injured.”

 

“His arm is starting to look better to me,” Sam mutters, biting into an apple.

 

”His physical injuries are not the ones I speak of.” Vision says calmly, grabbing the two plates of omelettes and leaving.

 

His words render them both speechless.

 

>>> <<<

 

Tony isn’t surprised when he sees the omelette placed neatly on his desk when he steps out of the shower. He just chooses to ignore it as he rubbed his hair vigorously with the towel.

 

He phones Happy, setting the phone on the dresser as he slips into some suit pants, aware of his healing ankle.

 

”Yes boss?”

 

Tony grins as he zips. “Well, if it isn’t my favorite personal slave- how are you today?”

 

”Just peachy.” The man replies with sarcasm.

 

”How’s the kid?”

 

”I was actually just about to call you about that,” Happy began. Tony stopped suddenly, dropping his shirt and picking up His phone. “What happened?” He asks, alarmed.

 

”Calm down- he’s fine.” Tony relaxes.

 

”He seems a little out of it though. I don’t think he’s gotten much sleep lately. He’s dozing off in the car on the way to school. Plus he’s just...” Happy trails off.

 

”What?”

 

”Sad.”

 

Tony rubbed his face tiredly, trying to ignore the pang of guilt that surged through him. “Yup... my fault. Okay- don’t pick him up today.”

 

”You going back to high school, boss?”

 

”Seems like it. Adios mi amor.” Tony ends the call without waiting for a reply.

 

Tony shoved a t-shirt on and then threw his blazer on overtop. He grabs his crutch and puts his sun glasses on as he hobbled out of his room and into the elevator. 

 

“FRI, get the car out front.” Tony hums as he exits the compound. Almost instantly, a body jumps out in front of him and Tony has a heart attack.

 

”Jesus Christ you fucking psycho!” He snaps, putting a hand over his forehead as he glared at a familiar looking face.

 

”Look dude, I just wanted to apologize.” The man says honestly, putting a hand on his shoulder. There’s a sympathetic look in his eyes.

 

”Who the hell are you!?”

 

The man’s face drops and he pouts. “Ant-Man! You remember me! Scott Lang? The dude in the red and black suit?”

 

Tony narrows his eyes before a memory of the little shit messing with his suit goes through his mind and he remembers. “Oh right. Tiny dude that turns big too.”

 

”I just feel like we should start over, yeah?” Scott pats his shoulder.

 

Weirded out and slightly annoyed, Tony nods. “Yeah- sure Ant dude. No hard feelings. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m incredibly busy today.”

 

He walks past him and enters the car. “Go to Peter’s school. And do a background check on that Ant guy. He freaks me out.” Tony mutters, staring at an excited Scott waving goodbye at him frantically.

 

”Right away, sir.”

 

The car takes off.

 

Tony leans on his car impatiently, arms crossed as he glares at the entrance of the kids filing out with their annoyingly loud voices talking about bullshit that Tony didn’t care about. About three minutes after the bell, he sees Peter’s slump exit the doors.

 

”Underoos! Hurry up!”

 

Startled, Peter looks up, brown eyes wide. “Mr. Stark!?” He gasps, looking at him as he approaches the car. “What are you doing here?”

 

”Just get in the car. We need to talk.” Tony opens the door for him before limping into his own seat. Peter stared at him cautiously. “Why are you driving? You’re injured-“

 

”I’m not. FRIDAY is.” Tony shrugged. “FRI, take us somewhere quiet.”

 

Friday parks in between two buildings, muffling the sound of New York.

 

“I’m only gonna say this one last time, kid. So listen up.” Tony turns to him with no jokes present in his voice, eyes fully serious. “You _cannot_ continue to do this. No more of this personal vendetta against the Cap. No more arguing with Clint or the others about what happened.” 

 

Peter stared blankly at Tony for a moment. And then his eyes filled with annoyance. “Are you serious?”

 

”I can fight my own battles.” 

 

“You can. Only problem is- you _won’t_.”

 

”That’s enough Peter. I want you to stay away from the Cap, okay?”

 

”Why? Worried I’ll yell at him?”

 

”I’m worried he’ll hurt you.” Tony admits, fiddling with his fingers. “And that you’ll hurt him.” 

 

“What about Thor?”

 

”What _about_ Thor?”

 

”You said to stay away from the Avengers,” Peter began. “Does that mean Thor?”

 

”That means everyone except for Viz, Bruce, Thor... and some dude named Scott- but you don’t need to worry about him.” Tony waved off. “I trust Thor. And I trust Bruce. No one else. Stay away from the rest of them.” Tony says calmly. 

 

Peter is silent. 

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Tony turns to him and is startled to see water shining in the boy’s eyes, doe brown glossy. Tony’s throat tightens. “Hey,” he says softly, gently putting a hand on Peter’s head and Peter burst into tears. “Hey, Pete- no. It’s okay.”

 

“No it’s not.” Peter chokes out, rubbing his wet eyes stubbornly, nose pink. “You don’t deserve that, Mr. Stark.”

 

”You don’t know me, Peter. Not the way you think you do.” Tony states and Peter shakes his head. “Yes I do. It’s the others who don’t know you.”

 

Watching Peter cry hurts Tony in ways he never realized could. And he opens his arms awkwardly. Peter blinks at him in surprise, before shoving his face in the man’s chest and wrapping his arms around Tony.

 

”I’m sorry for yelling at you, kiddo.” Tony tells him, running a soothing hand through his hair. 

 

“It’s okay.” 

 

He really doesn't deserve Peter.

 

>>> <<<

 

There was another place.

 

His lab was his safe haven. It was where he went to get away from everyone else. He drowned himself in work- because that was the only way he could distract himself from the thoughts that raced in his mind constantly. It was like _rest_ wasn’t a word that lived in the Stark’s dictionary. 

 

After talking to Peter, Tony just wanted to fall asleep. Which was rare. The days of sleepless nights and hardworking mornings finally took its toll, and Tony fell asleep.

 

He really should have expected the nightmares. After the whole situation with the wormhole in New York and Ultron, Tony was sure he’d get them to ease up a bit.

 

And then shit spiraled once more after that damn video. His mother’s words haunted his dreams and the sight of everyone dead brought tremors to his body until he was gasping awake, sobs racking through his body.

 

He shakily grabs his tank top, putting it on over his naked chest before stumbling out of the bed. He wipes his sweaty palms on his sweatpants before he grabs his blanket, wrapping it around himself like a cocoon. He limps into the elevator and presses the highest level.

 

There was another place. The roof. The one place no one seemed to go to.

 

He exits and sucks in a breath of the cold fresh air with a silent relief.

 

He climbs up the ladder to the highest point and sits down. He makes sure the blanket is wrapped over his head to protect his ears from the nipping cold air of New York.

 

He stared up at the bright stars in the dark sky, images of the wormhole and the chitauri racing through his mind.

 

Sometimes he wished he wasn’t Tony Stark. Wasn’t the son of the great Howard Stark. Wondered what it’d be like to grow up like a normal kid without an energy source to run his heart. Without having to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders and to be the source of disappointment for everyone around him.

 

He knows he’s a disappointment- he doesn’t need them reminding him constantly. He tries to make it up with his intelligence but it doesn’t seem worth as much. The only thing Tony was good at was hurting people. For a moment, after banning the emissions of firearms in his company, he genuinely thought he was finished with hurting people.

 

Truth was, he was only done hurting people intentionally. Now, no matter what he did, someone got hurt.

 

The nightmares never really left. He shouldn’t be surprised by that. 

 

He suddenly hears a thump, and whips his head right.

 

Tony’s breath hitches in his throat. There, the man was trying to climb down the ladder as silently as possible, one arm missing.

 

Bucky blinks at him. “Um... hi.”

 

Tony’s pulse quickens and he panics, taking in gasping pants.

 

Panic Attack.

 

Bucky frowns in concern at Tony, climbing up and taking a hesitant step towards him. Tony tightens his grip on his blanket so tight, his knuckles turn white.

 

”N-No! Get away- Get away from me!” 

 

Bucky backs away, looking small. 

 

_Howard!_

 

Her voice echos throughout the hollow ends of his mind, the images of the man in front of him choking his mother to death.

 

“I-I’m going to go get Steve-“ Bucky began to say but stopped when Tony flinched, fear widening in his eyes.

 

Bucky froze.

 

Tony was afraid.

 

Of him, that was understandable-

 

but it wasn’t _just_ him.

 

He was terrified of _Steve_.

 

Bucky stared, horrified. Tony wasn’t suppose to be scared of Steve. They didn’t get along, sure. Steve has told Bucky about their different views. But Steve would never have thought _this_. And Bucky didn’t have the heart to tell him either.

 

Tony watched Bucky jump off and heard the door to the stairs slam shut. Gasping for breath, he threw the blanket off of him as he began to sweat. His hands are shaky as he reaches towards the edge, letting out a small, choked sob.

 

He clenched his arm around the edge, looking down at the city of New York with blurry eyes. All of a sudden there was a gentle arm around his waist, pulling.

 

”No! No! Let go! Let go!” Tony cries.

 

_I’m not ready to meet dad again._

 

The person pulls hard and then there was something cold against his face.

 

Tony stopped.

 

He stares at the large ice pack pressed against his face and feels his body start to cool down. He stops thrashing and rests limp in the arm.

 

Shakily, he reaches up and pulls the ice pack away. He lets out a breath, blinking. He turns his head warily to see wide and innocent looking brown eyes of Bucky. His lips are turned downwards in a concerned frown.

 

”Let. _Go_.” 

 

Bucky let’s go and Tony presses a hand against his forehead, feeling the migraine slowly appearing.

 

Bucky turns to walk away and Tony glares at his back hatefully. “Do you remember doing it?”

 

Bucky stopped, shoulders going rigid. 

 

“Yes.”

 

Tony clenched his jaw. “Do you hear their pleading? Their choked screams in your sleep the way that _I_ do?”

 

”Every night.”

 

Tony looks away, angry tears forming in his eyes. “Good.”

 

They stayed there for a moment, listening to the breeze flow by. 

 

“It doesn’t count,” Bucky swallows. Tony stays silent, tears streaming down his face while he stares blankly out at the city. “My apology- it doesn’t count. It probably never will.”

 

Bucky gives him a heartbroken gaze, his own eyes filled with unshed tears. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not still sorry.”

 

Then he leaves, and Tony watches him go in the corner of his eye. 

 

He looks back up to the stars. One shines bright to him and he wonders for a moment if it could be his mother looking down at him.

 

_You can’t blame the gun for what the shooter does._

 

Tony might be too stubborn to believe that. But maybe, just maybe, he’s starting to understand it.


End file.
